Relation complication

The SO came to me last night and said that he just felt like we really weren't close. Apparently he has felt like that for a while, and it isn't just related to s*x this time. He feels like we are basically just friends and roommates, and wondered aloud if that isn't all that we should be. He asked me, with all of my goals and aspirations in life, if I really feel like I am capable of being in a relationship. I told him yes because I am not willing to wait until I have accomplished every single thing that I want out of life before I try to be in a relationship and have a family, that by then it would be too late. I expressed MY opinion that there are people who do have successful relationships in this type of situation, but that we just might not be one of those couples.

Our schedules aren't exactly compatible. He works two jobs; the first is from about 4:30 to 10:30 PM (including travel time) cleaning offices, and his second job is driving a delivery truck overnight. I usually only see him for about an hour from the time he gets home from the first job until the time he has to leave for the second. I also see him a little bit on Saturdays and we can spend all day Sunday together. We also have Monday nights together, but that doesn't stand for much since we're both sleeping. I am in school all day, during the few hours that he is awake each day as well as many during which he sleeps. I can understand where he is coming from, but I also wish that he could see other perspectives. He truly believes that I am not capable of being in a relationship because of my schedule, goals, etc. What he doesn't understand, or maybe doesn't realize, is that many couples with awful schedules, or where both people are full time students, do quite well with each other. I really don't know what the solution to the problem is.

He suggested that maybe we should just be roommates and best friends and nothing more, but the conversation was still left unresolved as always. That conversation never leads to resolution (although I hope that it will eventually) because I don't think that either one of us is ready to make that move. It wouldn't be a bad move really. For me there would be no more pressure to be physical in ways that make me uncomfortable. He could pursue other interests and find someone who needed as much involvement as he does, which I think would make him happier. I could engage in activities without feeling guilty, and he wouldn't feel like he has to tolerate my college activities because it would be cruel to make me give it all up.

On the other hand, it is a lot of work and time lost to give up now. We are more than three years into this relationship, and some parts of it have been REALLY bad. It is hard to simply throw it all away, when it has finally reached some kind of balance. It is far from good, but the improvement over where it started is so great. It is difficult to think of throwing all of the time and investment away.

I have no idea what is best. In some ways, I think that his suggestion last night really is the right thing to do. In other ways, I would rather not think that way or head in that direction.

Once again, I have no idea what to do.

Me