Not sure anymore

I do not feel okay. I am torn between what is real and what isn't...what is mine (technically it's all mine in a weird sort of way) and what doesn't actually belong to me. I could use the rule that only the things that makes sense to me belong to me, but that might not be true. Could what I know about myself be false? That would make it possible for a lot of this stuff that doesn't seem to belong to me to be mine. If, however, I have a reasonably accurate picture of myself, then so much doesn't make sense.

I don't know why I like the things that I do sometimes. They make no sense within my own personal reality. The only way to make sense of it is to explain it as someone else's interest, or to concede that maybe I know nothing about myself and it really is mine. (For that to be true, I would have to be a different age, gender, and other things.) I can't bring myself to admit that I am that horribly different from the way that I perceive myself. I simply cannot do that.

I really don't know what I'm trying to say. It's so vague, I'll be lucky if I understand it later, let alone anyone else trying to make sense of it.

Me