Changes to the way I post

There are going to be a few changes in the way I post on this blog. Some posts will continue to be simple updates on school, activities, T, and life in general. However, I have decided (after a conversation with the counselor yesterday) that I am going to start using this blog as a sort of "dump site." There are so many things that come into my head, and I do not feel safe enough to express them. I would write them down in a journal and put it away, but that doesn't work for me anymore (that method broke down after someone read the journal once). The counselor offered to let me email things to her with "Do not read" in the subject line. I trust that she wouldn't read anything without permission, but in a way that is the same as it is now. It all still belongs to me, and me alone. I need for these things to see the light of day, but am terrified of the risks in doing so. I have a good idea that anyone who does read this blog will stop once they read the deepest and darkest of secrets that I keep. However, I still need to do this.

These posts are not up for discussion in T or counseling. I am sure that they will help to fill in gaps for both parties to some extent at least. Although I am completely unwilling to discuss them at present. (I am aware of how "absolutist" of a statement that is, but simply don't care.) Writing this at all is extremely difficult, and I would not get anywhere near this information in counseling or T for a very long time. I hope that they can both be content to simply know things that they otherwise wouldn't, and will not try to push the envelope too much. Blogs are movable. The information doesn't have to stay here if I deem that it simply isn't safe.

I will put a warning at the top of any post that is potentially triggering for those who need to practice self-care. I would ask that anyone who reads here please not use those posts to purposely trigger themselves.

A lot is going on, so I am sure I will be starting this soon (as soon as I actually have time, which is not often considering my current schedule).

Me