What a day!

This is complicated, but I'll try my best to explain without being too confusing. A friend of mine has two grown daughters. They take care of their younger brother and sister. The younger brother has been having a lot of problems lately (he has a lot anyways, but they have gotten exponentially worse over the past few weeks). He has been caught stealing twice and been charged with theft. Today, he disappeared for several hours and we had to go out searching for him. He is now on a new "rules system." Well, he is simply on one, which he never really had been before. It's extremely strict, but he agreed to it. I don't know if it is going to work, and if it doesn't, then he'll be going to a hospital. He really has a lot of problems. The whole situation worries me, but I'm trying to think the best. There isn't any way to see into the future. All we can do is wait and hope.

In addition to that, I have an appointment tomorrow to meet with a woman (wow...what a vague statement) about working on a theater production with a local high school. I just got internet hooked back up today (haven't had it since the move), so I haven't really had any time to research the kinds of things that I want to do when I meet some of the kids tomorrow.

Finals are over, and the stress still doesn't seem to back down.

I also had T today, although it seems like a week ago after everything that's happened today. It was, however, today. It seems as though the T is satisfied that we really did identify the "core self." The one we found doesn't talk, but it isn't because of any kind of trauma. I think she doesn't talk because keeping things quiet is just one of her jobs. Maybe it is easier to make sure that no one else says anything that they aren't supposed to if she doesn't have to worry about monitoring herself. She has the right personality, although I only ever considered her to be half of a whole. I wonder how the core self can have such a haunted twin. The other one is a historian too, but holds knowledge of all of the emotions. Maybe knowing that has been harder to hold. Maybe the twin was traumatized somehow, but I don't really believe that. I don't know why she is the way that she is, but it is hard for me to imagine "A" being the core self and "L" being such a haunted shell.

In the end though, the test is yet to come. Next week we are supposed to try working with a part I think. How can she work with another part when she can't talk? How is she going to communicate with them and the T at the same time. She has to write to the T. Speaking of, we need to start taking paper to T so that we don't have to take his notepad. Anyways, she can communicate with others inside more easily, but outside it is more cumbersome. I really don't know how this is going to work, but I'll try to have faith that it will work out somehow.

Right now a lot about T is based on faith. It was hard for me to believe that there was a core self at all, let alone the one that was found. It's hard to believe that any of this will work. I try to believe, but things haven't worked for so long. I mean, things inside have been working fairly well for quite a while, but T hasn't worked for such a long time. It's so hard to trust people, and diving into the process like I did...the real basis of trust wasn't there. I hope that it will continue to form until we can really get into the depths of things, but I don't know. I struggle with things. I struggle with trust and opening myself up to someone I really don't know yet. But, what it all comes down to is faith. I know that I can have faith in the process.

Me